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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 30, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am PST

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49ers battle the baltimore ravens in new orleans. this is interesting. a new study conducted by the public religious research institute says 27% of americans believe that god has a hand in determining which team wins. [ laughter ] so if you're praying for a new kidney this weekend, sorry, god has the ravens and the 49ers. [ cheers and applause ] it actually makes sense. of course god cares about football. he created a girlfriend for manti te'o out of nothing. [ laughter ] here's the thing. if god really is influencing nfl games, that would mean he isn't in church on sunday either, so why should i go? [ laughter ] are there any of you betting on the super bowl? any of you betting on the outcome? there they are, officers. take them away. super bowl weekend is the biggest gambling weekend of the year in the united states. right now the niners are three
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and a half point favorites to win the game. but everyone knows about the regular bets you make on the super bowl. i like what they call the proposition, or prop bets. this is a real bet you can make. will any player on either active roster be arrested before the super bowl? [ laughter ] if you say yes, bet $100. if you win, you will win $550. by the way, if i'm a cop in new orleans, i take that bet, then arrest the first player i see. here's another one. will alicia keys omit or forget one word of the national anthem. if you say yes and bet $150, you can win $250. this is my favorite. will beyonce's hair be curly or crimped or will she wear it straight? you win $150 for straight. this is the kind of stuff you can bet on. beyonce's crimping iron could put your kids through college if you put your money on it. last year, i won -- i forget how
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much i won. but i had one betting that kelly clarkson would not screw up the national anthem. i may make the same bet for alicia keys this year. i think it's a good bet. i don't think she's going screw it up. last year i also bet that the cameras would show gisele bundchen in the crowd and i won on that, too. i think i might have a gambling problem. now that i add it all up. [ applause ] oh, thank you. every year, some publicity seeking zoo is smart enough to have one of their animals pick the game. this year, it's an orangutan. every year they give him two boxes, inside each box is a blanket representing the teams in the super bowl. whichever blanket he unwraps is the winner, supposedly, and this year she chose the 49ers' blanket. [ cheers and applause ] well, the orangutan has made a
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number of super bowl predictions in the past and zoo officials say she is right about half the time. which means -- her pick means absolutely nothing and there is no good reason for us to spend any time talking about this at all. are you betting on the game, guillermo? will you place a wager on the game? >> no, no. >> jimmy: no? never? why not? >> i don't like to bet. >> jimmy: he doesn't like to bet. i asked you to work on something last week. i was wondering if you made any progress on that. do you know what it was? >> yeah, but i forgot the name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the quarterback for the 49ers, his name is a little bit tough to pronounce. so i asked guillermo to work on pronouncing it and to come back and give it a try. well, okay, let's try it again. can you pronounce the name that we're going to put now up on the screen. can you pronounce that name? >> colin -- >> jimmy: you're already wrong. [ laughter ]
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>> kaepernick. [ applause ] >> jimmy: now, use kaepernick in a sentence. >> uh -- kaepernick is a great football player. >> jimmy: yeah. try to figure it out by tomorrow night or we're going to have to start again next year. >> i'll practice it. >> jimmy: you work on that tonight. use those rosetta stone tapes i gave you. >> okay. >> jimmy: basketball great and baseball owner earvin magic johnson is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] to remind us how small and feeble we are. i want to ask magic about this picture of him. i stole this off the wall at espn. [ laughter ] i was over at espn. no human has ever looked more like a muppet than magic does in this picture.
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tonight i will ask him to explain this. also apparently magic made up with isiah thomas, who he had a long feud with. so i want to ask about that, too, and i will. this is crazy. this happened in montreal monday. a water main broke and flooded the street downtown, which is bad news for a woman trying to get to class at mcdill university. >> she's going get hit! >> oh! >> where's she going? >> dude, somebody probably should go save her. >> jimmy: yes, i'm going to up load this to youtube. while i'm doing this, someone go save her. [ laughter ] in florida -- and i know i shouldn't be surprised by anything that happens in florida anymore, but this i am. a 10-year-old girl named emma submitted a science project that involved three drug-sniffing dogs and an ounce of real
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cocaine. it sounds less like a science progress than a raid on charlie sheen's bungalow. but it was a real project. her dad is a police detective so he helped her get the cocaine, i guess. [ laughter ] the point of the project was to find out which of the three breeds of police dogs was best at sniffing the cocaine out. i bet it was the one with the chest medallions and the corvette. her project turned out to be very successful. not only did she win top honors at school, she won honorable mention at the city science fair, and maybe most amazingly, somehow she managed to complete the entire project in four minutes. [ applause ] as you probably know, marijuana is now legal for recreational use in states of washington and colorado, but getting that up and running has been slow going. up until six months ago, i think you had to go to a state-run store to even buy alcohol in washington. so now they're looking for experts to help figure out thousand go about growing and
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selling pot. >> washington state is looking to hire a pot consultant as it tries to figure out how to regulate newly legal marijuana in the state. an adviser would need to know how it's grown, tested and even baked in the brownies. job applicants will be meeting in a convention center hall that fits 275 people. >> jimmy: that's the line of people for the last box of twinkies, i think. as anyone with a twitter account knows, celebrities have so many important things to tweet. but it's a shame that you have to be on twitter to read them. not everyone is on twitter. so i have a friend who started a great charity organization called ctc international. they help people in kenya. they educate them. they build schools, medical centers, farms, the whole thing. what they don't have over there is twitter. internet access is very limited. so we decided to get them involved the old fashioned way, through verbal communication and with that said, i give you kenyans reading celebrity tweets. enjoy.
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>> what should i win?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, kenyans. we're going to take a quick break. when we come back, we're going to find out how many of our neighbors out on hollywood boulevard have been arrested. plus magic johnson, nicholas hoult, and music from antibalas on the way. we'll be right back. [ wind howls ] [ dog barks ] ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] something powerful is coming. ♪
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that's definitely a fair trade. it was such a beautiful experience. (jessica lee) ♪ and it's beautiful (woman) why walk 60 miles in the boldest breast cancer event in history? because your efforts help komen serve millions of women and men facing breast cancer every year. visit the3day.org to register or to request more information today. it was 3 days of pure joy. ♪ and it's beautiful >> jimmy: welcome back to the
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program. magic johnson, nicholas hoult, and antibalas are standing by. 2013 has been a big year for televised confessions so far. thursday and friday, dr. phil has a two-part interview with the guy behind the manti te'o girlfriend hoax. his name is ronaiah tuiasosopo. everyone chose dr. phil as the person to whom he would confess, which is a bad idea. [ laughter ] dr. phil never wants to interview you because your life is going well. if you're not familiar with the story, he went online, pretended to be a woman, started a relationship with a college football player. went on for years. even made manti think the fake girlfriend died and then came back to life and he believed -- the more i learn about this, the less i understand this. but dr. phil was on the "today" show this morning to promote the interview, and explained the motivation behind this diabolical scheme. >> here we have a young man that fell deeply romantically in love. >> does he say that? >> i asked him straight up, was
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this a romantic relationship with you? and he says "yes." i said are you then, therefore, ga gay? he said well, when you put it that way, yes. >> jimmy: what other way can you put it? [ laughter ] maybe he'd like him to put it in song? i saw a few clips from this interview today. i'm not sure what to make of this guy. i don't even know if i believe he's gay. and i think everyone's gay. but one thing, this ronaiah tuiasosopo -- this is him. and this is our band leader cleto. [ laughter ] [ applause ] what cleto would look like if he gained some pounds. you can't spell cleto without
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withoutty -- te'o. it's true. lindsay will have a court date that determines whether or not she lied to police of crashing her vehicle into a semi. if she's found guilty, she'll likely be sent back to jail. i did the math. lindsay lohan has been to court more times than i have been to the gym in my life. four more times. for a while, it looked like she wasn't going to make it to court this morning. she was in new york yesterday and through her lawyer claimed she was too sick to fly to l.a. the only problem was she was photographed shopping in new york and she looked pretty healthy there. so she jumped on a red eye and made it to court. told the judge yeah, i went shopping, but at least this time i was buying things. that's got to be worth
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something, right? [ applause ] lindsay doesn't look like a person who has a long record of arrests, but it just goes to show you you can't make judgments like that based on appearance. with that said, it's time to play a special current events edition of the pedestrian question. this is where we ask people out on hollywood boulevard a question. together we will try to guess the answer to the question. tonight's question is have you ever been arrested. the way this will work is we'll see someone introduce him or herself and we will all together try to guess whether or not that person has been arrested. if they have, we'll find out why they were arrested, right? let's see, here we go. >> josh and i'm from here in hollywood. >> josh, the question is have you ever been arrested and if so, for what? >> people are yelling yes before he even spoke. [ laughter ] let's find out if josh has been arrested. >> i have never been arrested at all. period. >> jimmy: all right. he says he hasn't been arrested. if you lie, you'd be arrested for that. so who do we have next? >> i'm andrea from toronto.
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>> jimmy: have you ever been arrested, and if so, for what? >> jimmy: again, i'm going to ask please wait until we've seen the person before you start screaming it out. >> no, i've never been arrested. no great stories. sorry. >> jimmy: no problem. who do we have next? >> mike. i'm from hollywood. >> have you ever been arrested, and if so, for what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: stealing people's hearts? what do you say, has he been arrested? most everyone says yes. >> yes, i have, i've been arrested. once it was for shoplifting. it was at target. >> jimmy: who else do we have?
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>> johnny, ridgecrest. >> have you ever been arrested, and if so, for what? >> jimmy: johnny? mostly yeses. >> no, i haven't been, sorry. >> jimmy: i like that. they apologize. [ laughter ] okay, next. >> sebastian butler from texas. >> have you ever been arrested, and if so, for what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a look of concern. what do we say? yes? let's find out. >> well -- uh -- they said i did a burglary. they said i did. but i had a public defender. i could have won the case if he would have got the evidence i told him to go get. >> jimmy: all right. our next pedestrian. >> matt landry, new orleans, louisiana. >> laura arthur from north
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hollywood, california. >> tell me this. have you ever been arrested, and if so, for what? >> jimmy: look at this. she's looking at him. let's find out. >> a lot. a lot. >> jimmy: a lot. and a lot. we have a good show for you tonight. from the new movie "warm bodies," nicholas hoult is here. we have music from antibalas. we'll be right back with magic johnson, so stick around. what's better? faster or slower? [ all kids ] faster! ok, what's fast? um, my mom's car and a cheetah. okay. a spaceship. a spaceship. and what's slow? my grandma's slow. would you like it better if she was fast? i bet she would like it if she was fast. hm, maybe give her some turbo boosters. tape a cheetah to her back.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tomorrow later on the program, star of "warm bodies," nicholas hoult is with us. with music, antibalas is here tonight. tomorrow night, jennifer lawrence will be with us. katie couric will be with us. so join us then. our first guest tonight is a giant in the world of sports, and just a giant in the world, really. he's a legend for the lakers and now co-owner of the los angeles dodgers, from "nba countdown" on espn, please welcome earvin "magic" johnson!
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[ cheers and applause ] thanks for coming. it's good to see you. >> good to see you, too. >> jimmy: you were telling me about your daily routine. what time do you get up to work snout. >> i get up about 4:00 every morning. >> jimmy: 4:00 every morning. >> try to be in the gym by 5:00. and work out. >> jimmy: how long do you work out? >> a couple hours. first i work out for about an hour and a half first. and then i go do drench boxing for another hour. >> jimmy: really? you should be in better shape than you are, to be honest. [ laughter ] >> that's what my wife says all the time. >> jimmy: you have so many things going on. espn. the dodgers that now you're a
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co-owner of. i think you have a dog walking service that you're involved with. you must love it. because you retired from basketball, these aren't the actions of a retired man. >> that's what my wife says, too. >> jimmy: would she rather you cut back on a little of this stuff? >> no, she'd rather for me to go back to basketball because i was less busy. i am so busy now. but i enjoy what i do. i love what i do. i feel that the dodgers -- we really got a shot at winning it all. >> jimmy: that's very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] >> we feel clayton kershaw is the best pitcher. we feel matt kemp is the best player in baseball as well. a great team we're building. besides that, i'm on abc and espn every week and calling the games. >> jimmy: and you're not -- a lot of times when you'll see like terry bradshaw on fox, kind
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of takes it easy on the steelers. you do not take it easy on the lakers. in fact, i think you're harder on the lakers than almost anyone else. >> no question about it, jimmy. >> jimmy: why? >> because first of all, i love the lakers. i loved being a laker. [ cheers and applause ] sometimes laker nation gets upset at me because i try tell the truth. and when i tell the fans that the lakers are struggling or man, early on didn't look like they were going to make the playoffs, and i said that. >> jimmy: you said -- let me quote you, because i believe i have the quote. you said "it's over for my lakers, no playoffs, no nothing." do you stand by that? >> oh, i stand by it, but -- [ laughter ] i have a right to change my mind. because kobe, who i have felt has been the world's best player for ten, 12 years, kobe has been unbelievable. [ applause ] he really stepped into the
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leadership role and then he decided to really make the other guys better by passing, and he's really gotten all the guys involved. it just shows you how great kobe is. he can lead the league in scoring one day and turn around and do triple-doubles. >> jimmy: you think kobe should play more like he's played. >> well, he has to. >> jimmy: that's the underlying message here. >> he has to now because he's got more fire power now, so you've got to utilize dwight howard, gasol, steve nash, so you got future hall of famers to play with and he figured it out. let me just be a facilitator and get the passing going to these guys to help them to score. >> jimmy: you were very enthused about dwight howard coming to the lakers. are you as enthused now? do you think lakers should trade dwight howard? >> lately i've been very happy with dwight. >> jimmy: you're very fickle. it goes from week to week.
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>> lately, because we won three games in a row. [ laughter ] i'm very happy, dwight. stay, dwight. stay, dwight. >> jimmy: i stole this picture off the wall of espn. [ laughter ] i have never been this happy in my life. it looks like somebody hit you on the head with a frying pan. [ laughter ] >> they probably did. >> jimmy: what's going on? >> it probably was mike d'antoni, the coach of the lakers. >> jimmy: it probably was. i have a new feud i'd like do you get involved in. i know for years you had the thing with larry bird. i want to show you a clip from what happened last week here at the show. >> jimmy kimmel is to lake night talk show hosts what magic johnson is to -- late night talk show hosts. >> jimmy: okay, that was matt damon. that was a despicable thing to say, right? from that little worm.
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>> no, he was right. [ laughter ] i was terrible. and i'm okay with that. >> jimmy: you're all right with that? >> and then i praise you, man, how difficult it is. you make it so easy. you make guys like me come on your show and it's like the coolest thing. >> jimmy: it's very easy to talk to you. you're very easy to talk to. [ applause ] >> hey, i'm still mad at him because he wasn't doing the "bournes" anymore. >> jimmy: that's right. you know who's he's playing now? liberace's boyfriend. [ laughter ] magic, you tweeted something the other day. you said you ran into isiah thomas, who you've had a long -- used to be one of your closest friends. >> we were best friends. >> jimmy: best friends. you've not spoken to him for how long? >> oh, man. probably ten years or so. >> jimmy: okay, this is where i'm going to turn into ryan
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>> jimmy: we are back with magic johnson. nicholas hoult and antibalas are on the way. before the break, we were talking about -- and i think this is probably something most
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basketball fans know about. you and isiah thomas played for the detroit pistons, were best friends, were rivals. before games, you would kiss each other on the court. you were really buddies. i remember you clotheslined him in the finals once, and that didn't go over so well. >> no, he didn't like that. >> jimmy: you haven't spoken to isiah for how many years again? >> more than ten years. >> jimmy: and you ran into him where? >> at miami at a restaurant. and i was there having dinner, and he walked up and we gave each other a hug and started talking about family and how's he been doing, how i been doing, and so on. it was a great moment. and i'm happy that we can move on and be friends again, man. >> jimmy: will you be friends again? >> no question about it. look, the past is the past. we got to leave that in the past. [ cheers and applause ] i know his family.
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he knew my wife before she was my wife. i knew his wife before she was his wife. and on and on and on. we watched the kids grow up. all of that. so it was just beautiful. >> jimmy: and would you have approached him had you seen him in a restaurant? >> oh, no question about it. >> jimmy: you've never even seen each other. >> we hadn't seen each other to do that. so it was just a great moment. you know, look, god blesses us to be on this earth, man, one time, right? so i'm glad he put us in a position where we could talk to each other like men, like friends and move on. [ applause ] >> jimmy: right. >> isiah is a good man. and i feel that we should know each other and be friends again, and i'm happy for also my family and his family. because i think it took a toll on them as well so that question now be friends again, everybody's good. >> jimmy: will you invite him to a dodgers game? >> i will invite him to several dodgers games. [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: is there anything you can do to prepare to be an owner of the dodgers? what can you learn to be an owner of a baseball team? really, i mean, i know you learned how to make cappuccinos at starbucks. >> i worked the drive-through at burger king when i used to own the 32 burger kings. it's something, because you can't prepare -- the only thing you do is really learn from the greats. and we have a lot of great legends. tommy lasorda has taught me a lot. so i'm blessed to have him. >> jimmy: who do you think is the greatest los angeles dodger of all time? >> wow, the greatest of all time? that's tough. sandy koufax. it's kind of tough to say that he's not the greatest of all time. >> jimmy: that's a good choice. >> orel hershiser. >> jimmy: steve garvey. >> yeah, michigan state guy,
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steve garvey. it's hard to say which one. i think koufax would probably win if you poll the fans. >> jimmy: you have him working with the team again. >> yes, we love sandy. we want him to teach our younger pitchers a thing or two about pitching. i think that tommy lasorda is the face of the dodgers. there there's nobody greater than tommy. >> jimmy: he's the face full of pasta of the dodgers. if you're looking for a utility player, somebody that really has a lot of pop in his bat, do we have that? >> here's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: oh! [ applause ] if you're in the market, i will work for the minimum. i'm a lot of fun in the locker room. a lot of towel snapping and whatnot. magic johnson, everyone. watch the lakers and timberwolves thursday night on espn. we'll be right back with
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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from antibalas. our next guest is a fine young actor who played the boy in "about a boy", a mutant in "x-men: first class" and now plays a zombie in "warm bodies." please say hello to nicholas hoult. how you doing? and where are you from? >> i'm from england. >> jimmy: well, yeah, i figured that. but where in england? >> a town called reading. i can't believe it. i just met magic johnson.
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and i played for the reading rockets basketball team. >> jimmy: you're pretty tall. what position did you play? >> i was kind of like bench. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is basketball popular among like school kids and that sort of thing? >> it was with my bunch of friends. we played a fair bit. >> jimmy: and you played against other friends? >> against the london teams that would destroy us. >> jimmy: what players did you know from nba? obviously you knew magic johnson. michael jordan, i would assume. >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: did you know all the teams or just the big players? >> from spending time over here, i watch a fair bit of it, so i have a grasp of what's going on. >> jimmy: how old were you when you started acting? >> i did my first play when i was 3. i don't remember a lot about it. >> jimmy: when i was 3, a play meant you go outside and run around. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. that's kind of what it still is. goi to work and run around and pretend to do strange things.
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>> jimmy: how old were you when you were in "about a boy"? >> that was when i was 11. >> jimmy: you were a veteran actor at the time. you had been work for eight years in the arts. you wind up in this movie with hugh grant. did you have a personal relationship with him? >> he was great. he was fantastic. he bought me a set of golf clubs, got me into that. he was trying to find a new car at the time. i would go look at car magazines and be like wow, this guy's got money to buy cars. i'm going to find him a cool car. >> jimmy: did you find him a cool car? >> it was an aston martin. >> jimmy: that's a cool car. [ applause ] and do you keep in touch? do you think of him as like an older brother? >> i haven't spoken to him for a little while, but he's definitely a great role model. >> jimmy: really. drives off in his aston martin, abandons you, that's the last you see of him. that you bought him practically. you didn't buy it for him, did you? >> not quite, no. >> jimmy: that wasn't the car
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from the thing, was it? >> from the what thing? >> jimmy: oh never mind, it's something that happened over here. >> that's gone way over my head. >> jimmy: let's just say that's the second best car story involving hugh grant i ever heard. >> oh! yeah, okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so this movie, it's a comedy and it's about zombies and it's romantic, which is a weird combination. >> it's an odd blend. but it's very fresh and funny and heartwarming. and jonathan levine, the director, has done a great job. it's fun. >> jimmy: you don't say a whole lot in the movie because you're a zombie and they're not that chat tee. >> i groan occasionally. basically i didn't have any lines to learn. which is great. >> jimmy: how do you audition for something like that? do you just walk in and go mmm, and they go yeah, okay? >> it's a weird thing. i watched zombie films. i turned him and he was like scene one.
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turns out i don't really know this guy and i'm wallowing around in his house groanin ing. it was very strange. i think the saving grace for me, an ice cream shop went by. i paused and went ice cream! and that made everyone laugh. i think that clinched it for me. >> jimmy: very fortunate that. that ice cream man should get a cut. it seems like it would be kind of terrible to play a zombie for however long you shot the movie, because you have to be in zombie mode the whole time. >> yeah, i mean, i didn't go method. but, you know, hunched over, kind of shuffling around, walking very slowly. i also made a very silly decision to try and not to blink. >> jimmy: not to blink? >> yeah, because i figured that zombies wouldn't really blink. that got painful. i had really dry eyes.
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i blink later on as the character gets better. >> jimmy: you start to see blinking? >> there's some long scenes. >> jimmy: how long can you go without blinking? >> i can go a long time. >> jimmy: let's see how long you go without blinking. let's get a tight shot. >> are you going to do it as well? >> jimmy: i'm not a professional. i want to just see you. >> we need to make a contest out of it. >> jimmy: we'll have to do it separately. all right, i'll do it. oh, i'll get right next to you and then we'll see. ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: tell me when you're ready. >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: three, two, one. >> are you doing there? >> jimmy: i am. i am not blinking. >> he's not doing it, is me? >> jimmy: i am doing it. i can't see you. so you have to be honest. be honest and tell me when you blink. did you blink? i had my eyes closed the whole time. that's an easier way to do it.
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i'm sure that was really good, whatever you were doing there. >> it was great. >> jimmy: so you're walking around a movie with your eyes wide open the whole time, which is weird. probably have to use a lot of eye drops because you're suffering through it. but the movie came out great. it's really -- it might be a new genre that you guys have invented here. >> perhaps. it's nice to have a story told from the zombie point of view as well. it's about time. >> jimmy: it is about time. well, thank you for coming. it's great to see you. nicholas hoult. the movie is called "warm bodies." we'll be right back with music from antibalas.
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>> jimmy: this is their self-titled album, here with the song "dirty money" from brooklyn, new york, antibalas! ♪
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♪ ♪ dirty na dirty money oh dirty money ♪ ♪ no dey float dirty na dirty money oh ♪
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♪ dirty money no dey float oya ah ♪ ♪ a man go drowning in the river he call him brother save me now ♪ ♪ dirty na dirty money oh no hold am ♪ ♪ dirty money no dey float no hold am ♪ ♪ dirty na dirty money oh no hold am dirty money ♪ ♪ no dey float no hold am a man go hanging from a window ♪ ♪ he call him uncle bail me now uncle toss him rope of money ♪ ♪ di money break di man go follow oh ♪ ♪ dirty na dirty money oh
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no hold am ♪ ♪ dirty money no dey float no hold am ♪ ♪ dirty na dirty money oh no hold am dirty money ♪ ♪ no dey float no hold am ♪ oh yeah oh yeah oh oh ♪
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♪ ♪ ha! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: antibalas with their self-titled album. you can see a bonus song from them at jimmykimmellive.com. i wan to thank magic johnson, i wan to thank nicholas hoult. i want to apologize matt damon, we ran out of time for that son of a bitch. thanks for watching. "nightline" is nex

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